he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
