While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
