if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
