roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
