Don't make out with my wife yet
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize