Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
