Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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