i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
