I just made out with a guy for $7.
North Korea, Best Korea!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
