You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
