I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
