My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize