and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
