Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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