You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
