I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
