I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
