i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
