I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
