Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
