last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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