and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
