If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
