I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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