Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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