**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
