maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
