i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
