The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize