i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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