It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
