oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
