if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I did not marry a roomba.
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