He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
