it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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