Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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