whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
