Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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