Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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