Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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