Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
