I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The power of my boobs compel you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
