Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
