My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
