The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
