im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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