69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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