So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
