dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
