I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
