No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
