but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
