Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
