He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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