I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
