We won't sleep together?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
