idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
