Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
