Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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