high people should be assigned attendants
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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