pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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