I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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