you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
