well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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